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Boobs, Man Boobs.

Men are creative folk. Since time in memorial we have used whatever nature has given us to best survive and thrive in this crazy world. Take for example, the case of George Vera:

A morbidly obese inmate at a Texan prison was discovered to be concealing a 9mm handgun in his rolls of flab.

36  stone [504 lb] criminal George Vera was arrested this week for selling illegal bootlegged CDs and taken to a correctional facility. Despite being searched by police officers three times, he still managed to smuggle the unloaded weapon into the facility by hiding it under his flabby bitch tits.

Police spokesman Victor Senties told The Houston Chronicle that Vera was searched when he was initially arrested, again more thoroughly when he arrived at the city jail and one more time when he was transferred to the county lock up. On all three occasions the searching officers failed to notice the firearm lodged in Vera’s folds of skin.

Gynecomastia, or better known as man boobs or more compactly as ‘moobs,’ are quickly becoming a more common part of the male physique, prompting us to respond in creative and entrepreneurial ways. Think Kramer’s “Bro” or “Mansierre” where in his pitch to a potential investor he says, “Say you’re getting intimate with a woman, you don’t want her fumbling and struggling back there.”

Man boobs are the result of numerous factors such as low testosterone from steroid use (think A-Rod) but also heart medications, surgeries, or medical conditions such as kidney disease, or a few abnormal conditions of the testicles that interfere with hormone production have been linked to the development of enlarged male breast tissue. However, the number one cause of ‘moobs’ is excess body fat, particularly fat stored in the form of beer bellies as it leads to production of excess estrogen. While having man boobs present us another option for convenient storage of iPhones, wallets, keys, guns, Oreos, condoms etc. and also add a bit buoyancy if we’re thrown off a boat, the costs to our quality of life associated to being overweight or obese far outweigh the benefits.

No major medical studies researched the prevalence of gynecomastia in the general population, but where we find overweight men, we’ll be sure to find boobs! According to the 2004 Canadian Community Health Survey, approximately 23.1% (~5.5 million) of Canadians over 18 are considered to be obese (BMI of 30+), while another 36.1% are considered to be overweight. Among the male population, approximately 22.1%  of us are considered to be obese.  While these statistics and numbers don’t come as much as a surprise to most of us, they follow a worldwide trend towards obesity in countries that have adopted fast paced, high stress, low physically active lifestyles. Throw in the advent of cheap, highly processed, easily accessible food and what we’ve got is a worldwide health crisis.

I see man boobs as flapping, pendulous symbols of the modern man. They represent our progressively unhealthy lifestyles from a lack of healthy, quality, affordable food (and the desire for it), but also the disturbing trend towards beliefs about masculinity that ultimately harm our bodies and our environment, leaving us not only sick, but more physically womanly than before (once again, think A-Rod).

Man Cooking

The Swiss Meat Roll from Victoria’s awesome LoadingReadyRun

Men love food. Not only do we generally eat more of it than our female counterparts, food, especially meat, plays a significant role in how produce our identities as men and how we relate to each other. As poignantly stated by one of the chefs, er, manly food cookers, in Man Cooking: Swiss Meat Roll, “Little known fact, weaving is manly, as long as you’re weaving with BACON!” Meat, cooking (particularly with fire, not an induction stove top), and our ideas about manliness are inextricably linked to one another in the defining of the masculine.

The average male body requires more protein than a female one simply by virtue of body size, we’re generally bigger, unless you’re a giant Dutch woman… But how much do our bodies actually need? According to Gloria Tsang, RD for HealthCastle.com:

The average requirement is calculated based on 0.8 grams of protein per kg of body weight. Therefore, a 165 pound (75 kg) man would need 60 grams of protein daily. In general, both healthy men and women (regardless of body size) will do fine with 60 grams of protein a day. That is equivalent to eight ounces of meat.

I’m about 170 pounds or 77 kg, so according to this calculation, my daily protein needs average to about 61 grams a day. 8 ounces of meat? That’s about the size of a deck of cards! If you’re the average guy like me, you eat far more than a deck of cards worth of meat a day, chances are you’ve eaten a Caesar’s Palace worth in one sitting. The average Canadian eats about 62.61 kg (132 lbs) of meat (inclusive of red, seafood, and poultry) a year. 132 lbs!? That’s a f*cking’ person worth of flesh! Nonetheless, that averages out to about 172 grams a day, nearly three times the necessary intake for the general man population without counting non-meat sources of protein. Yet despite the fact that the average man (read: not an elite athlete, ‘roid monkey, or Chuck Norris) doesn’t need any more protein for nutrition’s sake, according to Food Ethics Council, the worldwide consumption of meat is expected to be double the 229 million tonnes we consumed in 2000 by 2050, especially in heavily populated and increasingly wealthy countries like China where the population already consumes nearly 50% of the world’s supply of pork. And you thought you liked bacon…

Human bodies haven’t changed much over the last few thousand years, sorry Kansas, and neither have our dietary requirements. Although our diets have become arguably richer and more diverse due to the advancement of agricultural practices, food science, and globalization, the rates of cardiovascular diseases, colorectal cancers, and prevalence of gynecomastia (a.k.a. ‘manboobs’ or ‘moobs’) amongst men is higher than it has ever been (manbra sales up?). While blaming our health woes and jiggling man breasts on the increased consumption of meat is far too simplistic, it is a difficult factor to ignore. Our failing health coincides with the feverish global dialogue about Earth warming, polar bear extinctioning (?) CO2, the environment, and sustainability, and whether or not you believe in any of those things, it is a fact that the aptly named diseases of affluence are killing our brothers, fathers, lovers, and friends. Should we fail to change something about our current lifestyles, our children will suffer the same consequences.

I believe that what’s happening to us is far more subversive, widely ignored, and deeply rooted in our conceptions about masculinity; the solution more complex than the popularized “go green, buy green” attitude. Mass media, the health and fitness industries, dusty gender stereotypes, the economy; all valid areas to direct our questions. Given the dire consequences of our continued blissful ignorance, I think it’s time we began to look for answers.

First post ahoy!

Hello and welcome to my weblog, Experiments in Manliness.

This weblog tries to answer the question, “What does it mean to a be healthy man in today’s world?” As well as offer you a fine collection of tips, tricks, experiments, and fresh perspectives on health, fitness, relationships, and all things manly.

I invite you to read, comment, try out experiments, and make suggestions for new ones. This blog is for everyone and feedback may be rewarded with an assortment of baked goods and a lifetime of boundless appreciation.

According to my favorite bathroom read, Men’s Health Magazine, health and quite often happiness comes from obtaining tight abs, big arms, slimmer waists, and a longer, stronger Johnson. While I don’t deny wanting to have any of those things, out of it’s 10 million starry-eyed readers, how many of us look anything like the cover guy: chiseled, lean, and meticulously well-groomed? In fact, as the fashion, beauty, and health industries experience a surge in profits all over the world, especially here in Canada and the US, men are looking more and more the opposite of healthy: un-chiseled, McLean, and plagued by higher rates cardiovascular diseases than ever before.

Experiments in Manliness is about exposing the assumptions, beliefs, statements made about what it means to be a man in today’s world and putting them up of the scrutiny of our failing health, lack lustre relationships, and the degradation of our environment. The Experiment involves taking the best of what magazines like Men’s Health has to offer in Fitness, Health, and Relationships, filtering out the sh*t, and piecing together an approach to the masculine that celebrates diversity in the male experience; one that recognizes that men want healthy, satisfying, and fulfilling relationships with ourselves, our brothers from another mother, partners, spouses, mothers, fathers, children, and the world around us.

Junk In Your Trunk, Literally.

Here’s another way to think about weight loss – greater fuel economy!  That’s right. A lighter ass is not only a faster moving one, it also saves us money at the pump. Talk about perks.

That’s the implication of a study that says Americans are burning nearly 1 billion more gallons of gasoline each year than they did in 1960 because of their expanding waistlines. Simply put, more weight in the car means lower gas mileage.

Using recent gas prices of $2.20 a gallon, that translates to about $2.2 billion more spent on gas each year.

“The bottom line is that our hunger for food and our hunger for oil are not independent. There is a relationship between the two,” says University of Illinois researcher Sheldon Jacobson, a co-author of the study.

“If a person reduces the weight in their car, either by removing excess baggage, carrying around less weight in their trunk, or yes, even losing weight, they will indeed see a drop in their fuel consumption.”

Other experts say even if the calculation isn’t exact, the study makes sense.

Full article from USA Today

So how much can we really save? Shaving off 100 lbs: like 10 from our beer bellies, 10 from jelly donut butts, and 80 from the crap piled in the (car) trunk can reduce fuel costs by 2%. That works to about $0.02-$0.05/gallon or $0.08-$0.18/litre at the pump. Or if you’re thinking green, according to the US Centres for Disease Control, we can save a collective 3.8 million tons of CO2 emissions per year simply by driving lighter.

So, following the same logic, you may see me driving naked.